What is it?

Bondage is getting your kicks from restraining someone, or being restrained, with rope, metal, specialist gear (such as a Straitjacket or Handcuffs) or furniture.

It is also known as -
B&D (bondage and discipline/domination)
BDSM (bondage and discipline/domination and submission, sado-masochism. 

Hanky code colour: Grey, or by rope or handcuffs, worn:

  • on the left (wants to tie up)
  • on the right (wants to be tied up).

Mummification is a form of bondage where someone is immobilised by being wrapped from head to toe in Duct tape, parcel tape, cling-film (Saran Wrap) or Pallet-wrap. This has its own special concerns, too tight a bondage can result in shallow breathing or mean breathing takes more effort, which then can result in asphyxiation.

Chastity can be considered as a form of cock bondage, restraining the cock via a Chastity Device, preventing erections and/or masturbation.

Often a combination of objects are used to restrain:
Rope, straps, collars, cuffs and harnesses combined to immobilise someone. Using a spreader bar to force limbs apart, being tied to specialist furniture like a St. Andrew's Cross, or just an ordinary chair. Restriction with handcuffs, manacles, straightjackets or sleepsacks. Being tied hanging from a frame or structure is called suspension bondage.

What’s the attraction?

For many the kick comes from feeling helpless, struggling against the restraints, or from having control over someone, watching them struggle.

For the one being restrained there is the physical feeling of being tightly bound, or the feeling of rubber, leather, metal, rope or other retraints against their body. There is an erotic thrill of making yourself vulnerable, dominated, unable to resist, giving up control to another person.

The Bondage Top may have the thrill of a feeling of power over the other person, and feeling their trust in allowing themselves to be restrained. They may get off on seeing the discomfort of their 'victim'.

Bondage gives a sense of danger, but in a safe way. It plays on feelings of humiliation and control, and can be used in role play such as Master and slave, Police officer and criminal etc.

It must be emphasised that everything must always be consensual, and consent can be withdrawn at any time. Anything else is a criminal assault.

Bondage can also heighten the pleasure of orgasm through controlling or denying the ability to come.

Things to consider

Being restrained: Allowing yourself to be restrained has some obvious risks:

Robbery: Especially if you are tied up in your own home, you may just be left tied and robbed. This can also happen if you are carrying valuables, such as a mobile phone.

Sexual Assault: You may assume that there will be no sex, or that all sex will be 'safe', your partner may be assuming the opposite. Discuss it beforehand and ensure both parties know what is expected.

Physical Harm: Either intentional or accidental. Accidents do happen. Some say a top is more likely to call an ambulance if you are in his or her home. If you are tied up at your place, or in a hotel, they may just panic and leave.

They might leave you tied up: Even if none of the above happen, it can be a problem to be found tied up later, by the hotel cleaner perhaps.

Being restrained for long periods can result in positional asphyxiation or other dangers. Someone tied face-down on a bed means their weight is on their chest, and the muscles that provide breathing can get tired, what seemed like an easy position may cause problems with breathing after some time.

If someone is hooded or gagged, consider what might happen if they were to throw up, would they suffocate, or inhale it.

Never leave someone restrained, not even for a few moments, especially if they are gagged. If they are covered you can't see signs of distress, such as being pale, red, facial expressions. Check bound limbs for blood flow, are they pale, cold, swollen.

Never put anything tight around the neck, this can restruct breathing, blood flow or cause nerve damage.

Allowing yourself to be tied up or restrained by someone you don’t know has obvious risks:


Before you begin

Don't assume things, talk about it, make your boundaries clear. This might involve no sex, or only safe sex, no drugs, no restrictions on breathing.

Everything must be consenting, and consent must be able to be withdrawn at any time. Doing anything without consent is a serious assault and may lead to criminal charges. Establish a safe-word if possible, but if someone is gagged or otherwise resticted from speaking a specific noise can be used. "Mmm mmm mmm" is one which anyone who can breathe can do. You might give them something to hold that they can drop should they want to stop. Often it is good to have a system of checking how someone is coping, ask if the retraing one is OK, maybe two squeezes of your hand means they are, and three means they are not and want you to take it easy.

Other risks

Restraining yourself can lead to lethal accidents when there is no-one to untie you if something should go wrong. One of the biggest dangers in this scene is self-administered breath control. We have lost experienced friends to this and know of several others who have died from breath control accidents. Breath control is never 100% safe, even with someone else looking out for you. The problem with doing it alone is that the thrill comes when you are in most danger and it is very easy to go too far. Our recommendation is to NEVER do breath control alone.

Being restrained under the influence of drugs, including alcphol, makes it more dangerous. People are more likely to pass out, vomit, take more risks. People who have breathing problems, such as Asthma, heart conditions, epilepsy or other conditions should take extra care and maybe avoid the more restrictive forms of bondage.

Restraining yourself (self bondage) risks a lethal accident for the same reasons that things can go wrong when two are playing.

Restraining

Pretending to leave someone can be a real kick. I once tied someone blindfolded to the wall in a club and said I'd be back in half an hour. In reality I was only steps away making sure they were OK. If you restrain someone you are responsible for them. Never leave someone tied as you may come back to find they have suffocated, had their circulation cut off, suffered nerve damage or worse.

Emergency release

Make sure you can release him quickly in an emergency.

For handcuffs, padlocks and metal restraints ensure you have the key handy and check all locks before you start.

Rope, leather etc.

Some sort of cutting tool, such as EMT shears, should always be handy, you don't always have time to untie that troublesome knot.

Tying

Never tie someone so tightly that they cannot breathe easily, or that their circulation is cut off or nerves compressed. You should always be able to put one finger between the skin and the rope. Spread the pressure from restraits either by using proper cuffs or if just using rope turn several looks around the limb with the one finger gap, and then tie these looks down.

Avoid anything tied around the neck. Always consider what might happen if someone faints or otherwise passes out. For example, someone is standing and their balls are connected by a rope to something above their head, what if they faint? Someone is tied with their arms tied above their head, if they were to faint would you be able to lift them and hold them while untying the ropes?

Long scenes

In long scenes never leave anyone unattended. Consider that Gags or Hoods may risk suffocation should they vomit or their nose gets blocked (a common side effect of Viagra)

Keeping someone restrained in an upright position for a long time makes it more likely they’ll pass out.

Suspending someone (suspension bondage), especially upside down, is particularly risky as body weight can make it hard to breathe, dislocate limbs, damage nerves or cut off circulation. Someone could also pass out, suffocate or fall if the restraints give way.

Now and then, at least once an hour, check their hands and feet, htat they are not cold or turning blue/Purple which would indicate that the circulation has been cut off. If so release AT ONCE. Even if there are no signs of a problem ask if they are OK and release if in any doubt.

Types of restraint

Metal restraints cut into the skin more than rope or leather, so take care pressure isn’t pinching a nerve or at risk of fracturing a bone (e.g. by putting a pad of material between skin and restraint). If ankles or wrists are being secured with metal restraints, leaving gloves and boots on provides a barrier and protection.

When handcuffing someone, don’t fasten cuffs so close around the wrist that it gets painfully tight or cuts off the nerve or blood flow. Leave a small gap between skin and cuff.

When mummifying someone with tape or wrap the ankles being pressed together can become very uncomfortable quickly. Padding made from several layers of bubble wrap, or even a balled up pair of socks prevents or reduces this.

Thick rope looks impressive, but thin rope is better. Coreless or flat rope that takes a knot well is good. Cotton rope can be washed in a washing machine. Washing cotton rope with fabric conditioner makes it softer.

Sofy nylon rope can be good, but take care when tying or untying someone as drawing the rope across the skin can cause rope burns. You can seal the end with a flame, or use Plastidip.

Special flat-edged bondage scissors can be bought online from medical suppliers. They’re also called bandage or EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) scissors as they’re designed for medical staff to cut off bandages safely.

Leather bondage wrist and ankle cuffshave an advantage over metal restraints like handcuffs. They won’t cut off circulation or pinch nerves if someone’s putting their weight against them if struggling or lying on them.

LEGAL Disclaimer

The creators of Devus take no responsibility for accident or injury caused as a result of its descriptions of sexual practices. Inclusion of links to external websites should not be understood to be an endorsement of such sites or their owners.