How to Fully Control your sub in 9 steps

  1. You need to get into his head.
    • Learn his fantasies and what turns him on. Use this information against him and to Your advantage.
    • Find out what humiliates him, and to what level.
    • Make him show his loyalty to You regularly. Reward him, even if it’s just with positive attention when he does.
    • Aside from family, close friends and work, give him 0% privacy. Don’t hide this process from him, make him partake in handing it over to you in ways that demonstrate how he is “losing the privacy.”
    • Make him need You for everything. Point out how You help him, how You guide him, and how You accept the negative things about him that others may not.
    • Hypnosis, especially while they are sleeping can help transfer messages, ideas and ideals about You deep into their head.
  2. Punish him often for everything, no exceptions!
    • Don’t let him get away with anything! When You let your sub get away with something. You are telling him that You don’t care for him and that what he did was ok.
    • You can Spank, paddle, or whip him.
    • Humiliate him past what is easy for him.
    • Long term bondage
    • Corner time
    • Food restrictions
    • Writing standards/lines
    • Write a book report or essay.
    • Ground him/take away privileges.
    • Wash his mouth out with soap.
    • Make him do anything he hates.
    • Get creative and make the punishment match the crime.
    • Never use separation or the threat of leaving/ending Your control over him as a punishment. That is counterproductive to the end goal (trust and service) and is detrimental to the sub.
  3. Routinely discipline him. This is different than punishment.
    • Spank him once a week, just because You can, not too hard, not too soft.
    • Humiliate him often.
    • 5-10 minuets of corner time a day can do wonders for him, like a sub’s meditation.
    • If he is stressed, give him a break and put him in some comfy bondage for a while. You may or may not want to integrate impact play with this. For lots of subs, some pain can really help elevate their mode for the rest of the day or longer.
    • Routine discipline will save You time and energy in the long run. You will have to punish him less as a result.
    • Taking care of You can be part of his discipline. Have him do Your laundry, cleaning, etc.
  4. On some level, even if it’s small, keep Your sub horny for You.
    • Talk sexy to him.
    • Sexualize non sexual things/activities You are interested in. He will see whatever it is You’ve sexualized as such and be more interested/eager to engage.
    • Have Your sub do some or all of Your body grooming. This can be Your baths, Your nails, shaving, trimming, waxing, etc.
    • Scare him by telling him when and what You’re going to do to him in the near future.
    • Send him text messages with orders to do something sexual.
    • Make him give You orgasms. This is different from sex. This is a service.
    • Let him rest on You to smell You as You watch TV or read.
    • Give him underwear/items of Yours to smell as he sleeps.
    • Hypnosis, especially while Your sub sleeps can help with this too.
  5. Control Your own feelings of guilt.
    • Your sub needs You to be strong “with” him. You may show vulnerabilities in Yourself for other aspects of Your life. When it comes to him and Your control over him, be firm!
    • Some meanness and cruelty will be needed from time to time to help break Your sub down.
    • Your sub may not want everything You give him/ do to him, but he needs it.
    • Letting Your sub get away with insubordinate behavior because You feel guilty adequately and severely addressing it is weak. You need to control that shit.
    • Sub subs need a real man who is close to them to guide them. Sometimes real men need to show the sub that they are inferior. This can’t always be done by talking. And if it is done my talking, the talking can’t be politically correct/kind.
    • Humiliation/breaking him down, teaching him to serve long term, these are all things he needs. You are filling his needs.
    • Remember, You both need to be happy. But happiness comes from different places for different people. If there is communication, and Your sub has communicated that he needs this life to be happy, then You are doing him a service and loving him by breaking him down and controlling him.
    • A good sub is hard to find. Don’t let the guilt of giving him what he needs stop You from doing so. What he needs may be overwhelming for him and he may break. If he does be there for him.
  6. . Humiliate/degrade/break him down on some level daily, some days more than others.
    • Have him wear a small butt-plug for a time, wifi enabled if possible.
    • Have him be naked or close to it, around You and or Your friends.
    • Make him wear a collar or other symbol of inferiority.
    • Make him wear a chastity device sometimes.
    • Teach them “tricks” like sit, drop to their knees to kiss Your crotch, etc. In public or with friends randomly call out a trick every now then. Make sure Your sub does this flawlessly without hesitation.
    • Make him masturbate for You.
    • Slap him in the face.
    • Spit on him.
    • Treat him as an inferior in public. (Ex: he carries all bags, opens doors, eats Your leftovers, holds Your drinks, tie Your shoes etc.)
    • Make him eat his own cum sometimes.
    • Talk down to him in front of others
  7. Rearrange his life/time to better serve/please You. Make sure this does not interfere with his time with loved ones or work.
    • If You want to change his body to Your liking, do so. Control his workouts, diet etc. Make sure and be realistic with this one.
    • Make sure he is available during some of Your leisure time each week so he will be able to serve You during those times.
    • Put him on a sleeping schedule. Lots of subs are not able to adequately manage their sleep times. The better rested he is, the better he will serve You.
    • Go through his closet/things and throw away/put away any clothing You don’t like him to be wearing.
    • Sign him up to learn new tasks or prefect tasks/skills that will help You. (Ex: massage classes, cooking classes, pet care, etc.)
    • Change their grooming habits to Your liking.
  8. Help Your sub be grateful for everything he has. Make sure You are at the top of that list. One great way to do this is to deny him things. Yep, it’s time to say “No.” Subs need boundaries, and saying “No” is a great way to help them with those boundaries.
    • You can take away certain foods, comforts, leisure time, sex, masturbation, etc.
    • Make him show his gratitude to You often. Subs gots will show this to You in their own way. Most subs will need some help/instruction on exactly how to show their gratitude to You.
    • Make him explain why he deserves something. If he can’t explain why well enough. Then take it from him.
    • You can take things/items from him that You know he does not need, but likes. (Make sure he can afford for You to take them and that they are not of an additional value such as sentimental etc.) Let him know from time to time that You enjoy something that You took from him.
    • Offer him a reward of getting to have something back. Make what you give him back relevant to what You make him do. This could be sort or long term.
  9. None of these actions will work without real trust.
    • If Your sub is Your partner, let him know how much his sub-ass completes You and Your power.
    • If Your sub is not Your partner, make sure You two are real friends. That You appreciate how his inferiority completes you. The more You two know about and do with each other. The more thoroughly You can control him.
    • Part of trust on the subs part is trusting that You will follow through when You say You are going to do something to him or are going to make him do something. Follow through always.
    • When a sub fully trusts You. He can submit to You his mind and privacy. Letting You go in and re-arrange/manage his life.
    • Subs need constant reassurance. Let him know that no matter what, he is Yours. If a serious sub feels disposable. He will look for another Dom who appreciates his surrender.
    • If Your life is getting too hard for a bit or You need help with something. Trust that Your sub will be able to take over for You and act in your best interest until You are back in shape. Giving sub this responsibility will either make him feel trusted and good, or upset that You are not actively controlling him 100% of the time. If he gets upset and does not step up and take over for You. Then drop him like a hot potato.
    • Talk to Your sub often. Ask him how he is feeling, and let him honestly know how You are feeling on anything and everything.
    • By taking things away from him, You are in a sense rewarding him when You give them back. Also, nothing he has is his forever. You need to re-take things and privileges away from him periodically so he knows they are a privilege and not a right. Think of it like taking a food bowl away from a dog. Your sub needs be docile enough that You can take his food bowl away from him as he is eating. He will not make a fuss and patiently wait until the food is returned.
    • Please note: Do not ever deny him from being with Friends or family. Make him realize that the only reason You allow him to have constant contact/interaction with good friends and family is because he “helps” them by being a good friend or family member. Make sure the he understands that the happiness that comes from being with them is “second” to the happiness that he brings them. Basically, he needs to understand that if he pulls away from loved ones. While he is under Your control his loved ones will suffer. That is why he is allowed (and encouraged) to keep and/or strengthen the bonds he has with them.Please note: The following is a list of things to control a sub only. Please do not implement these ideas if You do not care about and are not committed to Your sub. This list is not all inclusive of how to treat Your sub. This list leaves out the important kind necessities that Your sub needs such as reassurance, love, respect, being protected, allowed to be protective of You etc. These ideas are for a long term 24/7 arrangements, not a scene. Not everything will apply in every case, and there may be things on the list that will work for You.